accordancy | ◙ 03

[it's pretty good luck that Robin's flipping through the grimoire and hears what sounds... pretty much like someone freaking out. it's pretty crazy luck that Robin is the only person who recognizes that particular kind of freaking out.]

What...? [but... no, that's crazy. it can't be him--] ...Coil?

[there's an audible hitch when something familiar catches his attention. ...It's like a punch to his brain, really-- suddenly flanked by the memories it brings with it. Caught between recoiling in on himself and realizing with a pang that he really hadn't been entirely alone there, at the end. He hadn't just imagined that.

Robin seemed to know what to do, then. He remembers thinking that.

Maybe he'll know what to do now.

The labored breathing pauses a little as he suddenly has something to focus on. He manages to pull himself to the edge of his bed, but his journal is on the nightstand, and he doesn't have anything to write with.

So, all Robin gets is a frustrated pant, and the sound of someone reaching over and just... helplessly smacking a hand on the pages a few times.]

[he was trying to come up with another explanation while Coil was dragging himself over, but having found nothing that makes logical sense to him and then getting affirmation that he's not some sort of incorporeal ghost? he'll take it.]

H-Hey...! Don't go anywhere.

[not that. ...he could. but.

it sounds like Robin is up and going places.]

[he'll just... stay right here, then.

At least something somewhat comprehensible is happening, it seems. He can calm down a little bit... not that the exhaustion--and whatever else is going on what is this--would let him do much else but stay quiet and wait]

[it sounds like he was on a bed, but that could be anywhere in the tower... or, hell, anywhere in the city. but his book was with him, which reminds him of when people would first wake up in the other world...

Coil's room it is, then. he gets in there without a problem, but doesn't get very far beyond the doorway on account of holy shit, it's really him.]

[yes, it really is him. Curled up on his side with the blankets in a disastrous heap all around him and half on the floor, like he can't decide whether he's freezing or melting to death.

Though, judging by the way his fingers are tangled in his hair, head down and eyes scrunched closed--that seems to be the least of his troubles right now.]

Hey, Coil--

[he can barely believe it, but he doesn't dwell on the impossibility for long. it's here, and he feels compelled, above everything, to do something about it. soon he's leaning over him, a hesitant hand on his shoulder.]

Hey.

[hey, he's solid and real, how about that? ...He's also running a fever that can be immediately felt through the cloth of his shirt.

He peeks up, raising his head just enough to be able to focus on Robin around his fingers-- and his face immediately changes. A look of utter relief that not even he expects, unguarded in his delirious state, washes over his face when he recognizes him.

...He's glad to see you, man.]

Tega... [the swear is more appropriate than ever, considering. Coil's not the only one that looks uncharacteristically relieved.]

Jeez, you don't look so good. Let's see...

[he'll feel his forehead anyway. start trying to think of what to do.]

[he flinches hard when he's touched, like he isn't quite used to the feel of contact just yet. He's still overwhelmed and... not right. He doesn't even seem to be looking at Robin quite directly, unfocused and haunted. Wherever he's been, whatever he has or has not been experiencing up until this point, the phantoms of it are still all over him]

[he carefully presses his palm to his forehead, the side of his head, his neck. he wants him to get used to the idea of human contact, because he might have to put up with a lot of it for a moment.]

I'm going to have you sit up, all right?

[though, with Coil's condition... Robin rerranges some of the bedding around him, then sits himself down and scoops him up, propping him upright against the headboard of the bed. the pillows behind him should help, some.

from there, he works on getting the guy's clothes off. he can barely believe it when he gets to all the holes in his shirt--still bloody, like time had been paused for Coil while it went on for the rest of them. ...the thing is ruined anyway, so he ends up using a bit of the blood to slice the shirt open and pull it off of him. he'll get him a new one, promise.

he unwraps his hands and, if there's no objection, he'll try to get the eye patch off as well.]

[there is some protest, but Coil's efforts are far too weak and aimless to be effective at all. Just reactive fighting that he can't quite seem to help. It's just a lot-- shaking a little all over, his stress-rushed breathing the only means he has of communicating how alarmed he is over his own existence right now. It gets worse when he sees the state of his discarded clothes, and glances down to see the new set of remnant marks marring his chest.

It isn't until Robin goes for his eye patch, however, that there's a fight with real purpose. A hand comes up to grab Robin's wrist, automatically turning his face away.]

[he's a little surprised by the fight, but hey--if that's what he wants, he's not gonna fight him back. he moves his hand away immediately, instead pulling one of the lighter covers from its half-disheveled state and covering Coil with it.]

Use this one if you're cold. [it's a simple enough concept--if he's cold, his body will try to warm up even more. if he wraps himself in too many layers, he'll never cool down anyway. with that in place, he stands and moves to the bathroom for a minute. he'll see what he can find.]

[with some effort, Coil pulls the blanket around himself, huddling back into it as much as he can manage. Whether it's because he's cold or not, he's glad for it.

As for the bathroom, there isn't much in there but the bare essentials, even more pared-down than the default room they'd been given back in the castle. Enough of everything to live on, and not much more.

In fact, his entire living space is something like that. Spartan and fairly cold, almost devoid of creature comforts. It's not that he simply didn't care to include them, because everything is very specifically changed from when they'd all been originally given. And he does have things... lots of them, actually. With the original castle stonework preserved, heavy furniture made of dark wood--shelves and desks and chests--have the place looking something more like a medieval dungeon workshop than a comfortable bedroom. Scores of books line the shelves, papers and vials and... rather arcane looking items cluster together everywhere. If Robin pays enough attention, he might even pick up some of the latent unholiness of some certain objects.

...There also might be what seems to be a set of shackles hanging on the far wall.]

[funny, it takes him until the bathroom to realize it--mostly when he goes for what he imagines most people would have in their bathrooms and find even less than what he would find in his. still focused and intent, he grabs whatever clean-looking cloth he can find and gets it properly soaked in cold water. not the most technologically advanced, but it'll do.

coming out of the bathroom gives him a chance to notice things from a different angle--the room is definitely weird. there's a lot to look at. he's pretty sure there's some sort of... ward up above the door, but he's going to have to investigate that later. his curiosity does nothing to trump the still-puzzling fact that Coil seems to have returned from the dead, and with a fever to boot.

he sits next to him again, moving a bit slowly so as not to rattle him too much. he'll dab at his forehead a little, marveling at how his face looks--well, repaired. he seems to be breathing fine, albeit anxiously. from there, he presses the wet cloth to his forehead, face, neck--just trying to cool him down a little.]

[he's settled into a pretty steady shiver by the time Robin returns, huddled miserably in the blanket, staring at a spot of nothing somewhere near the wall. The slowed movements help-- he only flinches a little when he refocuses on Robin as he sits down.

Despite the shivering, the coolness of the cloth is very welcome. He doesn't fight that at all. The back of his eyelids are on fire, so he closes them. It will only take a couple of minutes for his fever to burn up the cold, leaving the cloth quickly lukewarm]

[well, not much to do but fold the cloth inside-out and do it again.]

I don't know what happened, but... welcome back, I guess.

[he wants to ask him a million things, but... barely able to function on top of his normal silence? he can wait until the guy is well enough to hold a pen.]

[communication is not exactly something he can adequately wrap his mind around right now, but Robin's words still pull his eyes open again.

'don't know what happened...'

He's searching when he meets Robin's eyes. Until now, he'd been hanging onto the loose idea that Robin would have known what had happened. He'd even half-assumed that Robin was part of the reason he'd been brought back. He can't really remember why he'd thought that, but...

Hearing that Robin is apparently just as confused as he is, however, strikes something weak in him. Now, he has no idea what could have happened, no place to start, and that is a suddenly terrifying thought]

[he notices the shift. his motions stop for a moment as he hesitates, trying to decide what to do. this is way outside of what he's used to.

but after a little huff of air, he shrugs and crawls over to Coil's other side, sitting up against the headboard right next to him.]

Hey, don't worry. We'll figure it out.

[he'll continue to pat at his face with the cloth a little here and there, occasionally checking to see if he's cooled down any. ...more out of want of something to do than him actually thinking it'll work.]

Relax for now, okay? I won't let anything bad happen to you.

[...how many times has he said that, lately? he immediately regrets the words leaving his mouth--what if he can't do anything? but it's not like he's not going to try...]

[the reassurance hits him strangely. Feeling familiar, it brings back more of those broken-up memories. Robin had told him before that it would be okay when it really wouldn't, didn't he? Just to make it easier.

Is this like that was, then? He doesn't feel like he's going to be okay.

He visibly crumples a little under that thought. Shoulders sagging and hunching up anxiously, pulling in a breath like there isn't quite enough air around him, he can't make himself believe that it's actually over.]

[but the first time, he wasn't around for it. he feels... a lot of things. happy, guilty, a little scared. he's mostly following a raw instinct, an idea that he should do everything he can to keep this guy out of danger.

seeing him shrink away like that just worries him a little more. it pushes against his predetermined set of boundaries and, for some reason, he decides that it's a good idea to scoot over and draw this guy up into a sideways hug.

he really did miss him, in a sad... pathetic sort of way. he didn't think he'd see him again. it's... he doesn't really know how he feels about it, even if Coil was only really an acquaintance of his before.]

I mean it. You're not going anywhere.

[his first reaction is to tense up all over, feeling crowded like a bird with pinned wings. Everything is just so chaotic--he feels like there are still pieces of him spinning around free-floating, not quite put together right--the embrace adds pressure to already feeling sick and strangled.

The contact is not something he's used to, anyway. It's something that jumps past his comfort zone, sidling right into somewhere that he normally doesn't even have to worry about protecting. Everyone is kept at such a far arm's reach that they never even try. But now, Robin is suddenly there, and Coil doesn't have the chance or the strength to put him back where he belongs, this time. And it's not just the Robin who likes to play with and bother him-- it's whoever took time to talk to him at the end.

At first, Coil feels like fluttering and fighting. And then, to his disjointed horror, he realizes that it's pulling him back together a little bit. Being wrapped up, held still, it slows him down enough. He needs to be in control, he can't manage it himself, and succumbing to this fact crushes him a little more. It takes him a few distraught moments, but he finally gives up.

He sinks a little. His head bows; his fingers move just enough from clutching the blanket to hang loosely onto Robin's sleeve, as his remaining supports begin to crack.]

[he really has no idea whether it's helping or making things worse, but... the fingers at his sleeve solidify the idea that maybe he shouldn't move for a while. at least Coil isn't trying to claw him away this time.

so he stays there, very quiet and still. he'll let him collect or break down or whatever it is he needs to do.]

[he really does try to collect himself. But, the more he tries to piece back together, the more things just crumble apart. He thinks, remembers, realizes-- until it's all just this overwhelming pile of horrible things all around him. If he'd had a chance to hold himself together before, the fever just chews right through any solid footing he might have had.

He died. He failed and disappeared, saw things that no living thing should see, and now he's here. Where nothing makes sense, and he can't even hold himself up enough to be able to stop leaning on someone else.

He's collapsing from the inside out, curling up on himself. It's only a matter of moments before his shoulders begin to shake, as he falls apart]

[and he still doesn't do much of anything. he doesn't mind, really. he didn't have it composed in his head that Coil was any less prone to emotions than--well, himself. he's just better at keeping things inside most of the time. so it isn't some big, horrible disappointment that dying, followed shortly by suddenly not being dead anymore is a hell of a lot for the kid to handle.

so he'll just stay there. shift enough to tug Coil's blanket up around him a little more, but otherwise just be something physical to lean on for a little while.]

[Coil is disappointed in himself. A little devastated about the whole thing, actually, so it's hard to imagine that Robin wouldn't be judging him the same way.

For a while, he really is helpless to do anything but just completely come apart at the seams, clinging and leaning pathetically. It isn't the gripping all-consuming terror that the tram had brought, so he's at least quiet about it. Still, he turns his head and buries his face so he can further muffle voiceless sobs.

He can't stand the sound of it.

As soon as he can catch a breath--and it takes a while--pulling himself together enough to devolve into miserable hiccups, he retreats. Pulling back from Robin, he reels himself in but can't quite raise his head, simply exhausted and shamed.]

[he lets him pull away when he does. with his head bowed like that, Robin picks up the wet cloth again, leaning in to wipe at Coil's face a little. it'll feel better.]

Hey, it's fine. [...probably doesn't help, but he wants to say something. he ends up pressing his lips to the other's temple in a very short kiss--something second-nature and nearly subconscious for him--before he mumbles something about fixing the cloth and stands up to go run it through cold water again.]

[he doesn't react--to much of anything. He's too pulled apart. It'll take him a minute.

The need to feel whole and contained is still there. And he's cold. So, he manages to pull the blanket more tightly around himself once Robin steps away, like a cocoon--that wrapped up feeling the closest he can get.

It helps, a little. By the time Robin comes back, he'll still be teary-eyed, but the hiccups will have stopped. He'll be able to hold his head up enough to be waiting with look for him-- searching and guarded. Whatever words might have been attached to it if he'd been able to used them, he's looking for something]

[and he returns predictably, cold cloth in hand. if he's thinking about it, he doesn't show it so much--and the look catches him a little off-guard. he hesitates, then manages a small (but rather characteristic) frown.]

What's that look for? Don't worry.

[about what--well, he isn't going to say. he'll just move back to sitting at his side and doctoring him, occasionally feeling for any changes.]

[between the fatigue and Robin's vague reassurance, he drops whatever it was. Sinking back into just focusing on coping with being alive.

The fever lets up maybe a little, but it's definitely of the supernaturally stubborn variety. As is whatever Coil keeps seeing-- his eye glancing up to focus somewhere far off every once in a while, following something that isn't there as it moves around the room. And then it's right back to looking like he could pass out at any moment]

What do you keep looking at?

[that comes a bit out of nowhere, out of a very lengthy silence. because oh, he notices. he just doesn't have any idea what it is that Coil has noticed. with this whole thing, who knows--maybe something is still hanging around him.

but he doesn't seem worried about it, or anything. he settles back down into a place next to Coil.]

[he certainly wasn't sleeping, but he still sort of blinks awake at Robin's voice. Refocusing and returning to himself, pulling into a smaller shape with the sound of a half-surprised inhale.

He doesn't know if he could explain even if he'd wanted and had the means to. So, he just rubs his eye with a blanket-covered fist, and shakes his head]

All right... [at least he can trust that it's not immediately terrible. his gaze drifts to other things, like the wall and the ceiling, but he eventually slouches back against the headboard and nudges Coil's shoulder.]

Do you want to sleep?

[the mere suggestion has his eye widening, fear seeping in until he looks nothing short of haunted, and he shakes his head.

Exhaustion is all over him, pooling in the weary shadows around his eyes and pulling on the lines of his brow, and yet he can't imagine letting himself rest. He's just spent weeks drowning in powerless nothing... and the thought of going back there, even for something like sleep, is a terrifying idea.

He might not come back again.]

All right, all right. You don't have to.

[...if he doesn't want to sleep, Robin doesn't exactly know what else to do. he doesn't want to leave him alone. he basically has to wait around until he passes out.]

I guess I could take you somewhere else, but there isn't much else besides town... And dragging you through all that sounds like more trouble than it'd be worth.

[he might have been talking more to himself, with that last bit.]

[whether Robin was mostly speaking to himself or not, Coil still shakes his head. And then he lets it loll a little. He's really feeling awful. If he can't sleep, he can maybe try to disengage from it, at least.

Keeping his eyes open leaves him open to seeing, however, and it isn't long before the delirium gets at him again. A minute or so after it almost seems like his eyes might be getting heavy, he turns his head away from something that isn't there, and waves out a clumsy hand, trying to keep whatever it is away from his face]

[that still bothers him. he wants to reach out for Coil's hand and get him to settle, or help ward off... whatever it is that's still following him around. even if it's really just night-sickness, he would love to do... something.

but he can't see it. he could if he was... hm.]

Hey, Coil. [he brushes the kid's bangs out of his face for a moment.] Those wards you've got up... do they keep magic and auras inside the room?

[he balks and winces, but it's before Robin even touches him. It's in reaction to what he's being asked-- really realizing for the first time that someone else is in his room, seeing the runes that he hadn't had the chance to hide before he died.

Looking across the room toward the window-- ah yeah, he's within sight of one right there. The harsh furrowing of his brow that follows is his silent equivalent of a curse. He'd been so clumsy...]

[that look... he lets the other's bangs fall back in his face, looking a little sympathetic.]

Hey, I would have found them anyway. I'm kind of sensitive to that stuff.

[he's glancing up at him-- not quite sheepishly, but definitely looking for... something.

Answering anything about it is something he has a hard time with, even to Robin, even in the state he's in]

[usually he can read him pretty well, but this time? he's just not sure what Coil is looking for.]

I'm not gonna... tell, or anything. If that's what you're worried about.

[he's... not really sure either. The reassurance doesn't feel enough, but he doesn't know what else to ask. He wants to know why Robin is asking, he wants there to be something that Robin can say to make it feel okay to answer anything about... but it's not possible, and he can't articulate any of it anyway, so it really doesn't matter, does it?

All he knows, really, is that if there is anything Robin can do to help the situation, he desperately wants it.

So, huddling up in the blanket--he's so cold and nothing looks real--he just nods. Presumeably in answer to Robin's original question]

All right. Good...

[he's hoping that's what he's nodding about, anyway. he's still debating whether or not he'd want to show him--only two people know, after all, and it might freak him out more than he already is...

in debating, he instinctively reaches over to wrap his arm around Coil's shoulder. maybe another moment of attention with the cloth. with this, it's effectively a waiting game.]

[if he's worried about what Coil might think about it... it's questionable that he's even aware enough to remember it as something real.

There's only a vague shift of his body--more towards than away--when Robin slips an arm around him. He's too wrapped up in staring at nothing, zoned out in that detached way that says that he thinks it's something.]

◙ 03

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