✣ number one

[challengesworld.livejournal.com]

[When you are an angel who has yet to entirely catch up with human invention, many things are completely mysterious to you. Like teapots, or telenovelas, or comic books. Angels didn't need stuff like that, but Cheriour decided that if he is going to be here, he is going to learn all he can about these things.]

Um, hello. Yes. I have some important questions. You see, I found some things in the city, and I want to know what exactly what their purpose is. I'm not terribly well informed on inventions, and people are the best source of information, so, erm, here I go.

First of all, umbrellas. What a strange name. Um-brell-las. Brelly-ums. Erm, what do they do? Are they weapons? Because I stabbed a chair in the tower with one, it's pretty sharp...but why do you need the cloth for it? I don't get it.

Second, what do you do with those weird blowing things that you often find in bathrooms? The ones that spew hot air in your face. Are they used for cooking? Like, if you hold one over food, it gets it hot. But why would you cook in a bathroom...?

And last but not least, please elucidate the meaning of this very odd thing I found on the bathtub yesterday.

[There's a squeaking noise.]

What is the purpose of having a small yellow rubber duck?

[Today's derpiest angel brought to you by Things-That-Don't-Make-Sense-In-Cheriour's-Head.]

Comments

[challengesworld.livejournal.com]

[After a few minutes of looking it over, he finally finds the thing and slides it open, making the umbrella open with a large whump. Unfortunately for Taby, he had it faced away from him, so no poking of the clocks today.]

Oh! Oh, it opened! Wow. Huh. It looks like a shield. I think I've seen these before in this form.

[And he'll just be swishing it around. THIS IS SO EXCITING. 8D]

[tabbytastic.livejournal.com]

[damn. oh well, she can still hope that he'll trip and fall or something. maybe he'll stab himself in the throat.]

You should see what kind of things it can protect you from.

[challengesworld.livejournal.com]

Ooh, tell me! Tell me what it can protect me from.

[THIS IS INFORMATION HE NEEDS TO KNOW]

[tabbytastic.livejournal.com]

[oh man. she takes a minute to think about the possibilities here]

Well, I don't use them much, so...

I know they protect from rain, but that's pretty boring, right? Maybe... fire.

[challengesworld.livejournal.com]

Rain, huh? Why that? Rain isn't dangerous...

[A pause as he thinks about that.]

Fire? But...surely the cloth would catch on fire? It's a rather bad shield for fire if it is able to be destroyed easily.

[This is one of the very rare times when Cheriour shows that he actually has a brain up there. 8I]

[tabbytastic.livejournal.com]

What about spy umbrellas? Some of them can even deflect bullets and shoot poison gas.

[or something]

[challengesworld.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. If they were composed of the right material, I guess.

[Just going to be sticking his head into the underbelly of the umbrella, don't mind him. He speaks, his words muffled.]

No, don't see any compartments for poison gas here!

[tabbytastic.livejournal.com]

[man this guy really is easily amused]

Maybe it's good against acid. Or knives.

[challengesworld.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm. If I spun it fast enough...

Someone should try and throw acid or knives at me so I can try!

[tabbytastic.livejournal.com]

...

[...8D]



There are knives in the kitchen.

[challengesworld.livejournal.com]

We should experiment with it, like any good scientist.

[tabbytastic.livejournal.com]

[...she is just so happy right now]

I could maybe help you with that.

[challengesworld.livejournal.com]

Ah, would you? That'd be very helpful!

[tabbytastic.livejournal.com]

Sure. I think I can make time for that.

[challengesworld.livejournal.com]

I'll be waiting the the kitchen!

[tabbytastic.livejournal.com]

[hurrying down there so fast, before he changes his mind or something]

[challengesworld.livejournal.com]

[And he is just standing here and WAIT WHAT HAS HE DONE TO THE UMBRELLA]

[It seems like he's fastening different steel utensils on the inside of the umbrella to form a protective underlayer. He looks up and waves.]

Oh, hey there!

[tabbytastic.livejournal.com]

[CHEERIO you are doing it wrong]

...What the hell is this?

[challengesworld.livejournal.com]

[Cheerfully fastens more utensils!]

You see, while you were on your way here, I thought "No, cloth wouldn't be enough to defend against knives!". But steel could! And so, I'm making another layer so I can test it out! We wouldn't want to have knives sticking out of me, would we?

[In which Cheerio is somehow actually pretty smart for once and foils all plans for knife-throwing. TA-DA? 8D]

[tabbytastic.livejournal.com]

[this is not fair. she's so disappointed]

But you're missing the whole point. You messed up the whole experiment.

[challengesworld.livejournal.com]

[His mouth opens in a "WHAAAATTTTT?!" expression.]

A-ah? How so?

[tabbytastic.livejournal.com]

We were supposed to be testing if it could deflect knives or not, but you went and changed the whole thing. Now we'd be testing something completely different. You're not supposed to do that.

[Tabby only understands the Scientific Method when throwing knives at people is involved]