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[so it looks like today is Robin's equivalent of "spring cleaning" day at the hideout. he's mostly getting his shit in order, tying up some loose ends, trashing the old stuff that no one wants anymore, aaaand... dealing with some business.]

[Euri]

[he hasn't spoken to her in a looooong time... but today he decided to change that.]

Hey. You really still hiding out in the woods?

Come on, come back. You must be bored to tears out there.

[Murdertastic Filter]

So, hey. Can't help but notice there's been an awful lot of murdering going on.

Think you guys could maybe not attract the attention of the whole fucking city?

[Public]

[with that finally out of the way and him waiting for responses (if they come at all), he's decided to just hang around on one of the couches and distractedly hum something that sounds a little like the Wren Song. there's a distant tapping that might be his foot on a wall.

but eventually he stops that, too. his attention span isn't all that great on a normal day, but today it's even worse. he'll start talking to no one in particular (which means the journal).]

You know what I miss? Fight rings. And not that publicly broadcasted shit they clean up for TV and radio, no--I'm talking real, messy, Underground fights. Those were the best fucking nights. Always a party.

[tap tap tap tap.]

I wonder if they've got anything like that hiding around here... Some corner of the slums, maybe.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[on the outside, his eyes don't even twitch from their path gliding across the page, chin resting easily on his arms crossed on the floor. impassive and seemingly absorbed in what he's doing.

and then there's what is going on inside. that creaking resonates, and he stops reading the words that he's still glancing over.]

[he shows up at the top of the stairs, comes right for Coil. knocks politely on the doorframe. sounds casual, if not a little accusatory.]

You've been quiet. [...] Unusually quiet.

[and he is the perfect picture of a student absorbed in his studies, like he's studying up for some big test. hair tied back, laying sprawled amongst books and papers clustered together in some kind of order that matches whatever he's got going on in his head, and looking every bit like he doesn't want to be disturbed.

still not even pausing in the feigned motions of reading, let alone bothering to glance Robin's way.

normally he'd give him something, enough to deflect or placate, but... he's having trouble managing that at the moment. so, blatant ignoring it is.]

[he won't help. he's going to step further into the room, carefully putting one foot in front of the other around the diameter of Coil's little study circle. when he finds somewhere he can get in closer, he crouches down and pulls one of he papers towards himself to look.]

What's keeping you so occupied, huh?

[it starts out in that odd shorthand of his, the way he writes to make himself seem barely literate to anyone reading. but then, about halfway down the page, it's like he gets too lazy to keep it up, and it just devolves (or evolves?) into elaborate strings of runes.

he still doesn't make an effort to answer, but Robin's proximity gets to him--enough to halt the pretense of reading, at least. just staring through the page now.

waiting for him to get bored and leave him alone.]

[oh, but he can't. he's focused now. he makes a little sound, a 'hm' of vague interest before he slides the paper back into its place.

but whatever order he restored with that will be wrenched right away when he grabs Coil's ponytail and tugs his head back. sharply.]

It's rude to ignore people when they're speaking to you.

[he literally doesn't see it coming.

he winces, hissing through his teeth as his hand shoots back to grab Robin's, shoving himself up onto his other elbow in an attempt to lesson the tension.

well... Robin certainly has his attention now. he tries to turn his head despite the pain, but he can't quite move enough to be able to compensate for his blind side and actually see him]

[at least he doesn't pull any harder. he keeps him where he is, letting him struggle to deal with what little he's already doing.]

There we go. You up to talking yet?

[a harsh breath--the only sound that he allows himself, enough to express his unhappiness--and he nods.]

All right.

[he lets him go, like a trap suddenly springing loose. returns his arm to balance on his knee, watching Coil's face for how he's reacting to all this.]

[still propped up on an elbow, he's able to finally turn his head far enough around to actually look at Robin.

he's pretty disbelieving and blindsided about what just happened, but Coil's version of that mostly amounts to a very wary but still impassive expression.

it's not quite a glare, but it's close. and it's a little bit tired.]

You've been dodging me. [his glare is noted, tucked away.] I don't appreciate it.

[if this had been any other day over the past stretch of weeks, if Robin hadn't just made an impression on him, he would have been able to apathetically hold his gaze and offer him nothing.

instead, his gaze breaks and falls away again, drifting back to where it came from. his body language is different now, though. not as stubbornly walled off, he's at least listening.]

So, come on. What's going on in that head of yours?

[he moves to touch his forehead. just a slight brush with a finger, an automatic gesture.]

[he automatically and halfheartedly tilts his head away, absorbed with the task of trying to swallow the fact that he can't go back to ignoring questions like that anymore. All that eroding that has been going on inside has finally worn away what's under the foundation of his walls.

he rests his chin on his arms again, and it takes him a minute--giving one more mental search for some way around it, before something finally cracks. It's a quiet buckling of something load-bearing, silent and sad.

he gives up.

reaching out, he drags a notebook over to scribble something down. ...then, he just drops his face down onto his arms, while his hands close up into loose fists.

'I want to go home.']

[see.

there's a little part of him deep down in his chest; the part that got really upset when he died, the part that was unbelievably relieved when he was brought back. the part that took care of him. the part that looks at those marks he keeps making and gets a little upset. it's a very human part, the part that looks at him now and can't help but think of him as some lost child, just like the ones he used to know.

that's probably what saves Coil from abandonment, really. he should count himself lucky. he wraps his fingers around his ponytail again, but doesn't pull. it's a warning, his voice heavy with something resentful that wasn't there before.]

What, gave up already? You're letting that get to you?

[he's doing this out of love. he really is.]

[this is new. and it's again the unexpected element that gets through to him. he's got defeat glazed over his eye, but he at least turns to look at Robin again.

questioning, but not out of an active interest--he's wary. he can't guess where this is coming from]

[that look... is that what he used to look like?

makes him sick. he's got no right to even think he has that sort of thorn in his heart. he tightens his fingers and pulls up again.]

You little shit.

[and then he smashes Coil's face back down against the floor.]

[whatever was going on his head is temporarily made irrelevant as his face suddenly bounces off the floor. half-stunned, he follows it with a pained cough and the automatic attempt to curl in--covering his face with his hands and trying to pull his legs underneath him. in those first dazed moments, it's all he can mange.]

[Robin yanks on his hair again to jerk his head away--but with him curling up like that, he ends up grabbing the front of his clothes instead.

and this is the part where he cheats. with a little help from his gift (curse), he lifts Coil off the ground like he's nothing.]

You're gonna give up? You're gonna run away? [he laughs--devoid of mirth, sharp and empty.] Don't be so fucking pathetic!

[he throws him across that little room, back in the direction he'd been before. he'll land all over his notes, his books--but really, those are just starting to piss him off too. not his problem.]

[he hits the ground and flops over onto his back like a ragdoll, rolling bonelessly with it until he finds himself blinking uncomprehendingly up at the ceiling.

he needs to wake up. recalibrate. he doesn't understand what the hell is going on.

his face hurts, and now the wind is half knocked out of him. he's quickly grabbing for a moment to struggle to even out his breathing, while his sense of how the world works lifts off its track and spins a little bit]

[and he's going to give him that little moment. he's not quick to catch up to him. he waits for a moment, watching the kid try to get his bearings on the situation. it's very close to the way he tortures people, actually--but lucky for Coil, he won't be getting into the really horrible stuff.

he steps around the papers, the books, toe-to-heel in a semi-circle to Coil's bad side. once there, he lifts his boot and presses the toe down on the other's throat. not enough to choke him, but enough to make it... worrisome. he knows Coil's a little more fond of breathing than most people (and that's saying something).]

Well?

[yeah, for the panicked rasp of breath at that, he might as well have been choking him. a hand automatically darts to Robin's ankle, thumb digging into the sensitive nerve there under the joint, going right for the pressure-point out of habit.

but that's all. he stops there, freezing, anxiety making it unnecessarily difficult to breathe. he turns his head so he can stare up at Robin with a much clearer look of fear, now.

there's no misinterpreting his desperate look of 'what do you want??']

[the thumb at his ankle hurts--but he doesn't show it. he more absorbs it at this point, toe jerking up in slight reaction only to press down just a little harder.]

Come on. You're still alive, so do something.

[he leans over him, very careful about his foot. he doesn't want to make it hard to focus on what he's saying.]

Yes, you lost. Yes, you died, but so-fucking-what? There's fight in you. I can see it. Even now.

So don't waste it. Come on.

[and then, the fear in his face changes from one sort, to a very different one. He is listening, eyes wide and searching with it... and his expression starts to slip suddenly toward something helpless.

He get it, but he doesn't understand. He doesn't know why Robin has made this his business, doesn't know why he's looking for something that Coil doesn't know how to give. He doesn't even know how to have what Robin's looking for, and he's too startled to fake it.

All he has is the horrible sting that comes with the first part of that. He lost. He died. He doesn't know what he's supposed to have after that.]