[he flinches at the mental contact again, but he's too exhausted to fight it more than that. He asks himself that same question--has been asking for a while--so his mind just slowly careens around as it searches for an answer, and Robin gets to watch while it does.
There is still that important pitfall of why bother, even though Robin's argument of the same reasons as always, just keep trying should have satisfied it. It does, partially, but that wound is still left hanging some of the way open and he can't really figure out why.
It just sits there, ever-present in the background while he rakes his thoughts for what he needs, looking for what could possibly make this any better.
He doesn't get very far in any direction however, before violent thoughts crush in from the darkness on all sides. He doesn't deserve any of this. How can he learn from anything, how can he correct himself when he hasn't even paid for what he's done. He can't forgive himself, he can't let it go, because they wouldn't have. The only thing he deserves is suffering. Punishment. There is just this terribly guilty weight on his soul without anything to balance it back out.]
no subject
There is still that important pitfall of why bother, even though Robin's argument of the same reasons as always, just keep trying should have satisfied it. It does, partially, but that wound is still left hanging some of the way open and he can't really figure out why.
It just sits there, ever-present in the background while he rakes his thoughts for what he needs, looking for what could possibly make this any better.
He doesn't get very far in any direction however, before violent thoughts crush in from the darkness on all sides. He doesn't deserve any of this. How can he learn from anything, how can he correct himself when he hasn't even paid for what he's done. He can't forgive himself, he can't let it go, because they wouldn't have. The only thing he deserves is suffering. Punishment. There is just this terribly guilty weight on his soul without anything to balance it back out.]